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Thursday, 28 November 2013

                                                                       Habitual Wanker

Barford on his latest blog say's he is the victim again to some abuse from some unknown assailant, who comments on his blog,  lulling him into a false sense of security before going for the jugular.    This is exactly the type of tactics needed to upset the old scroat from Warsaw. Again he raises the question why can't these people use there own names when blogging on various detecting forums. The reason being Mr. Barford favourite little game is to then goggle your name to see where else it crops up, places of work etc, and has even been known to contact your employers prying into your personal  details. Face book and Twitter are two of his favourite haunts.


He also prowls the various detecting forums under different aliases, not under his own name, so he doesn't practice what he preaches, but this burnt out has- been has nothing else left in life.


This is what he say's on his blog:


 What is it that these people have to say about their hobby, what they do and what they think, that cannot openly be said under their own name? Why can they not use the names on these forums and in discussion here which they use in real, not fantasy, life, the names they use at work? Metal detecting is legal in the UK, there is no need to hide the fact that one is a metal detectorist in the UK, so why all the secrecy?

Saturday, 23 November 2013

I bring you tales of hoiking from the U.K, Lord Barford. I have a copy of Yee Old Treasure Hunting magazine, I see there are dark forces at play, with bodies being looted in battle and artefacts being sold on the black market. Hath they no common decency to send them to you, so you can include them into your Doomsday book on artefact erosion.


''He kepte that he wan in pestilence, 
For gold in phisik is a cordial; 
Therefore he lovede gold in special.'


Geoffrey Chaucer (1340?-1400), British poet. General Prologue (l. 444-446). . ; from THE CANTERBURY TALES Oxford Anthology of English Literature

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned," (William Congreve)
Dr. John/Surrey

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Junk Archaeology....Junk Figures...Junk Analysis
 "My problem with the PAS is not at all that it is "successful" (because I very openly support the Heritage Action Artefact Erosion Counter which says it is not),......."
Precisely why Paul Barford espouses such junk data, when the FACTS prove him totally wrong, is anyone's guess. His open support for the Artefact Erosion Counter which my informants tell me is pure junk, gives the more astute a hint to it's accuracy in the opening paragraph on the Heritage Action internet page:-
"Since what happens in the fields is a secret known only to each individual, no-one can claim any particular total of the number of artefacts removed by artefact hunters engaged in metal detecting..."
Ah, so it is all assumption then. It's the absolute and final proof that both  Paul Barford and  Heritage Action really do have a feeble grip on heritage reality. Therefore, the question one as to ask oneself is; what's really behind this kind of cod archaeological data that, apparantly, the Council for British Archaeology laps up and is trying to palm off on an unsuspecting public? By contrast the Portable Antiquities Scheme is fact-based and accurate to such a degree that it attracts huge sums from central funds.
The time has surely come for greater oversight on the funding purse strings, for in the  view of many, it will be an absolute tragedy to divert funds to  any organisation  supporting anything as  unscientific as this so-called Artefact Erosion Counter.
Archaeology deserves better than this.
Dr John/Surrey

Saturday, 16 November 2013

                                               Barford at the British Museum

Today the British Museum is pleased to announce the arrival of their new exhibit a rare and extinct breed of Barford man. Scientist had often searched for the missing link but had failed to look in some squalid run down area of Warsaw. A  spokesman from the British Museum said it was incredibly how Barford man had remained hidden  for so long, seeing as he was running so many blogs, Yet had also remained so invisible to the outside world, as no-one was ever reading them.   


Due to years of inactivity from sitting behind a computer screen the body had become bloated and was unable to walk.  The only vocal sound uttered repeatedly was ''Hoiking, Innit!''


DNA studies indicates that Barford man was not a subspecies of Neanderthals but a separate species altogether. The brain being far smaller than the average ''Birds eye pea'', with a pale anaemic body from the lack of sun light.


Thursday, 14 November 2013

Nigel Swift drowning in junk from his Artefact Erosion Counter.

20000000000000000000000000 Million objects saved for the nation

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Paul's School report

You will see he had a 'B' where it say's mental problem! Needs to improve his spelling.

Oh what a cupid stunt I am!

Friday, 8 November 2013

Focus on Partnership: What type of Fibula was it?

As an arsehole working in central Europe and with an interest in the Balkan antiquities trade, I was interested in what type of fibula ended up in an Oxfordshire field and was  handed to the FLO.


This zoomorphic brooch depicts an image of the Polish God Barfordus, God of lies and deception.


When examined by some so called expert it seemed to covered in a plastic coating, probably trying to hide this odious creature who is featured on it.



I suspect there is a lot of this type of thing going on, at commercial artefact hunting rallies. Could the rally organisers be seeding the ground I ask myself with cheap and nasty looking brooches such as this one. Soon to be published in a British Treasurer hunting magazine! 

Of course this type of magazine is not on sale in
Warsaw. Unlike Great Britain, you cannot get magazines about hoiking archaeological finds out of archaeological sites which is a great shame.

All we get are books on Karl Marx, claiming benefits in the U.K and the thought's of Chairman Meow.

"Fuck off Barford you're not wanted in Britain"  Oh yes you are!
Ronnie and Reggie!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Hello is there anybody out there,  shout if you can hear me, is there anybody home.


Barford and Swift just two lone figures on a road to nowhere. Insulting all who stand in their way, players in their own soap opera ''The only way is Barford''.


Ed Vaizey took a direct blow as these two clowns demanding his resignation for having the audacity to support us. Many Barford fans will now be chuckling to themselves, after reading their blog. Culture Minister supports detecting.


Will these jokers just fade away or die of natural causes, one way or another they have little left apart from  each other. The only comments they ever receive are from one another.


To get their viewing figures up they need to insult everyone from boy scouts to 10 year olds that have just taken up detecting as a hobby, so nothing is out of bounds for the Barford/Swift roadshow.


In their now empty lives I would like to suggest an alternative hobby to keep them occupied in their old age . Bungee jumping with the rope attached around their necks or crash test dummies.