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Friday, 27 December 2013

Groom of the Stool:

Barford finds himself the perfect job.

The Groom of the Stool was a male servant in the household of an English monarch who, among other duties, “preside[d] over the office of royal excretion,” that is, he had the task of cleaning the monarch’s anus after defecation. In the early years of Henry VIII’s reign, the title was awarded to minions of the King, court companions who spent time with him in the Privy chamber. These were the sons of noblemen or important members of the gentry. In time they came to act as virtual personal secretaries to the King, carrying out a variety of administrative tasks within his private rooms. The position was an especially prized one, as it allowed one unobstructed access to the King’s attention. Despite being the official bum-wiper of the king, the Groom of the Stool had a very high social standing.

One day we hope to see Nigel Swift and Paul Barford preserved for all time in there own museum
in Iceland.


Wednesday, 18 December 2013


Barford's Night Before Christmas
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
Oh what a pleasure
Barford's been blogging
About digging up Treasure.
He sneaks around the forums
while swigging a beer
He  be better off shagging
Nigel the queer.
When Out On The Lawn
He fell down a hole
Someone been hoiking
Be that guy on the dole
The guy on the lawn
shouted back, innit funny
I've just found some loot
I'm only ''innit fer the mony''!
Barford ran down the path
Like A Bat Out Of Hell
I Knew In A Moment
The F----r Had Fell.
So I filled up his Stockings
With Pretzels And Beer
And A Big Rubber D--k
For Nigel The Queer.
He Swore And He Cursed
As I Rode Out Of  Sight
Piss On You Barford
And Have A Hell Of A Night!"


Monday, 16 December 2013

               Innit Erosion Counter
                        Counter graphics

Many people discount my Innit erosion counter as pure bunkum, but the figures speak for themselves.
 Over the years I ask my readers, how many innit's have not been properly recorded on the Barford blog. Now this word has been severely misused by myself for far too long. These innit's are being plundered from dictionaries across the land in an ever increasing way, as Barfords exclaims I'm only ''innit'' for the vowels guys.


1. (British slang, esp. Asian, i.e. Indian, Pakistani, etc.)

Contraction of "isn't it", "isn't he/she", "aren't they", "isn't there" and many other end-of-sentence questions. For greatest effect use in places where it would make no sense whatsoever if expanded.

2. General positive exclamation meaning "yes, I agree!"

1. "Hey dere's some pigs in dat cop car over there innit?"
"Yo look at my new car innit!"

2. Raj: "Da Matrix is to'ally cool!"
Nisha: "Innit!"

Being such a highly educated individual having obtained his N.V.Q 1 in archaeology, one would have thought he could have plumbed the depths of his thesaurus to find and use an alternative word.
Secretary of State for Education has said we are please to be working with this pillock from Poland, and even though this is only a voluntary recording scheme we hope to record as many Innit's as possible to help in our understanding of illiteracy across our boarders.

 Why are you still blogging?

It’s our humble opinion that the audience we now have includes some of the top ‘movers and shakers’ – people who are in a position to make a REAL difference to the protection of the word ''innit''. If we can persuade them of the need for change, by highlighting words under threat, then there’s a chance that things eventually WILL change.

It’s that chance, however small, that convinces us that what we’re doing is the right thing to do. So far, no-one has demonstrated that what we say and do is wrong or harming our grammar (e.g. the Innit Erosion Counter) for which no-one has yet suggested more accurate figures). Until they can, we’ll continue the fight to save our grammar!


TAKE A GOOD LOOK at this behaviour, for these are precisely the sort of small-minded people the Government wants to grab more and more millions of public quid to educate them, and to whom they want us all to entrust the exploitation of our literacy record. Take a good look and decide what you think about that as a "policy".




Thursday, 12 December 2013


The Great Lie EXPOSED at Last!! Wally’s AEC Finally Exposed as 24-Carat Tosh!

While Warsaw-based Paul Barford and his drippy UK handmaiden, Nigel ‘Not Very’ Swift, are at great pains to rubbish the UK’s world beating Portable Antiquities Scheme along with everything and everyone connected with it, they have been caught fairly and squarely with their knickers round their ankles ready for a shafting of epic proportions. Now that their fact-free and heavily discredited Artefact Erosion Counter is shown to be a fraudulent tissue of lies, Barford, when pressed on the AEC's accuracy comes up well short -- as we all knew he would -- unable to answer the salient questions.
This AEC nonsense of theirs, peddled as being ‘scientific’ by these two laughingstocks purports to show, or more accurately, to dupe the casual observer into believing, that the number of artefacts, ‘hoiked’, as their pseudo-scientific jargon has it, from the ground, by Britain’s detectorists, is somehow factual; but is all a lie! And they’ve even sucked-in the CBA to their web of lies and inaccuracies.
The following foot-in-mouth gem from Barford’s PACHI blog exposes once and for all, the fraudulence of the AEC, exposed as a lie on the internet by an anonymous questioner. Read and ENJOY how Barford squirms and tries to parry and defend what has turned out to be the biggest hoax since the Piltdown Man. Looks like Nigel ‘Not Very’ Swift has done a runner to put some distance between him and the truth leaving his co-conspirator covered in crap!
Cop a load of this and ENJOY!
Monday, 9 December 2013
“Focus on UK Metal Detecting: That Ten Millionth Object”
Question posed by "Anonymous":
"The acid test to prove the Erosion Counter's inaccuracy is to demand details of say, artefact number, 10 million and one. Where was it found, what is it, who found it, and when[?]
Ummmm....Well the rate the HE Artefact Erosion Counter has been ticking away means (as I make it) that the ten millionth and first object would have been found a little after one in the afternoon on Wednesday 16th September 2009, while I was in Egypt. The object recorded on the PAS database most likely at that time was Record ID: LANCUM-0F97C8 found at Robin Hoods House, Burnley Lancs. The name of the finder is unknown. This was something like the PAS' "421607th object" (and 268883rd record). The ten millionth and first object dug up by artefact hunters since 1975 which was dug up in a field on the same day may never have been reported to the PAS.”
COMMENT: Here's the proof if proof were needed that the Artefact Erosion Counter is nothing more than pure tosh. The PAS is fact-based, not a propagandist fantasy like the AEC. The AEC is phony and now, thanks to YOU, Barford, the world knows it as well! What’s even better -- to my mind at least -- is that the Council for British Archaeology which is for ever banging the anti-detectorist drum and not widely known for its pro-detecting stance, and who threw its weight behind you, Swift, and the Artefact Erosion Counter (now exposed as utter hogwash) have thanks to your sterling efforts, come up smelling of manure! Never again can the CBA accuse the detecting fraternity of inaccuracy. Well done old son (Oooh, Mikey, you ought to be more careful who you climb into bed with!). Now, thanks to YOU, Barford, the CBA have been made to look utter fools in backing fantasy over fact. I am delighted…I’ve waited over thirty years for this moment, and, ironically, it’s all down to YOU! God Bless you, Sir!
Oh, what an asset to archaeology you are. What a star! Whether they'll be drinking your health in York tonight is anyone's guess; but rather suspect the detecting community will certainly be raising a glass! I imagine too, that a certain Doctor of our mutual acquaintance and his team will be bouncing off the walls in delight, and in fits of laughter, in downtown Bloomsbury tonight.
Large ones all round!
Hat tip to ‘Anonymous’...
"You'll notice how Barford is unable to name or describe the 10,000,001-th artefact, but borrows from the PAS (which he detests) figures to bolster his flagging, heavily discredited,  AEC, which is now the laughing stock of arkiedom.

The AEC is on the US equivalent of Skid Row."

John Howland

Friday, 6 December 2013

Rabbits pass the buck again! not me Guv.


Rabbits in denial again., over holes dug at Lacock, Wiltshire, cricket pitch. A recent survey estimates there are now over 20 million of these night time thugwits, digging all manner of things from private lawns to golf greens. Archaeologists admit rabbits are certainly on the rise and causing major problems to E.H sites. Wiltshire Police Commissioner has looked at the recent damage and says we can hardly go locking up every rabbit, because most are already behind bars. He say's perhaps we could blame local detectorists as it will help boost their crime figures, and  make great reading on the Barford blog.


While many of these rabbits abide by the good code of practice there are still many that do not, some leaving their holes unfilled and even shit in them, what's that all about.? We need to educated these thugwits,  ever since the Norman invasion the numbers have risen.
Here is a ancient print of these thugwits in action attacking a groundsman at Lacock.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

                Archaeologist uncover lost section
                     of Bayeux Tapestry 

Thursday, 28 November 2013

                                                                       Habitual Wanker

Barford on his latest blog say's he is the victim again to some abuse from some unknown assailant, who comments on his blog,  lulling him into a false sense of security before going for the jugular.    This is exactly the type of tactics needed to upset the old scroat from Warsaw. Again he raises the question why can't these people use there own names when blogging on various detecting forums. The reason being Mr. Barford favourite little game is to then goggle your name to see where else it crops up, places of work etc, and has even been known to contact your employers prying into your personal  details. Face book and Twitter are two of his favourite haunts.


He also prowls the various detecting forums under different aliases, not under his own name, so he doesn't practice what he preaches, but this burnt out has- been has nothing else left in life.


This is what he say's on his blog:


 What is it that these people have to say about their hobby, what they do and what they think, that cannot openly be said under their own name? Why can they not use the names on these forums and in discussion here which they use in real, not fantasy, life, the names they use at work? Metal detecting is legal in the UK, there is no need to hide the fact that one is a metal detectorist in the UK, so why all the secrecy?

Saturday, 23 November 2013

I bring you tales of hoiking from the U.K, Lord Barford. I have a copy of Yee Old Treasure Hunting magazine, I see there are dark forces at play, with bodies being looted in battle and artefacts being sold on the black market. Hath they no common decency to send them to you, so you can include them into your Doomsday book on artefact erosion.


''He kepte that he wan in pestilence, 
For gold in phisik is a cordial; 
Therefore he lovede gold in special.'


Geoffrey Chaucer (1340?-1400), British poet. General Prologue (l. 444-446). . ; from THE CANTERBURY TALES Oxford Anthology of English Literature

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned," (William Congreve)
Dr. John/Surrey

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Junk Archaeology....Junk Figures...Junk Analysis
 "My problem with the PAS is not at all that it is "successful" (because I very openly support the Heritage Action Artefact Erosion Counter which says it is not),......."
Precisely why Paul Barford espouses such junk data, when the FACTS prove him totally wrong, is anyone's guess. His open support for the Artefact Erosion Counter which my informants tell me is pure junk, gives the more astute a hint to it's accuracy in the opening paragraph on the Heritage Action internet page:-
"Since what happens in the fields is a secret known only to each individual, no-one can claim any particular total of the number of artefacts removed by artefact hunters engaged in metal detecting..."
Ah, so it is all assumption then. It's the absolute and final proof that both  Paul Barford and  Heritage Action really do have a feeble grip on heritage reality. Therefore, the question one as to ask oneself is; what's really behind this kind of cod archaeological data that, apparantly, the Council for British Archaeology laps up and is trying to palm off on an unsuspecting public? By contrast the Portable Antiquities Scheme is fact-based and accurate to such a degree that it attracts huge sums from central funds.
The time has surely come for greater oversight on the funding purse strings, for in the  view of many, it will be an absolute tragedy to divert funds to  any organisation  supporting anything as  unscientific as this so-called Artefact Erosion Counter.
Archaeology deserves better than this.
Dr John/Surrey

Saturday, 16 November 2013

                                               Barford at the British Museum

Today the British Museum is pleased to announce the arrival of their new exhibit a rare and extinct breed of Barford man. Scientist had often searched for the missing link but had failed to look in some squalid run down area of Warsaw. A  spokesman from the British Museum said it was incredibly how Barford man had remained hidden  for so long, seeing as he was running so many blogs, Yet had also remained so invisible to the outside world, as no-one was ever reading them.   


Due to years of inactivity from sitting behind a computer screen the body had become bloated and was unable to walk.  The only vocal sound uttered repeatedly was ''Hoiking, Innit!''


DNA studies indicates that Barford man was not a subspecies of Neanderthals but a separate species altogether. The brain being far smaller than the average ''Birds eye pea'', with a pale anaemic body from the lack of sun light.


Thursday, 14 November 2013

Nigel Swift drowning in junk from his Artefact Erosion Counter.

20000000000000000000000000 Million objects saved for the nation

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Paul's School report

You will see he had a 'B' where it say's mental problem! Needs to improve his spelling.

Oh what a cupid stunt I am!

Friday, 8 November 2013

Focus on Partnership: What type of Fibula was it?

As an arsehole working in central Europe and with an interest in the Balkan antiquities trade, I was interested in what type of fibula ended up in an Oxfordshire field and was  handed to the FLO.


This zoomorphic brooch depicts an image of the Polish God Barfordus, God of lies and deception.


When examined by some so called expert it seemed to covered in a plastic coating, probably trying to hide this odious creature who is featured on it.



I suspect there is a lot of this type of thing going on, at commercial artefact hunting rallies. Could the rally organisers be seeding the ground I ask myself with cheap and nasty looking brooches such as this one. Soon to be published in a British Treasurer hunting magazine! 

Of course this type of magazine is not on sale in
Warsaw. Unlike Great Britain, you cannot get magazines about hoiking archaeological finds out of archaeological sites which is a great shame.

All we get are books on Karl Marx, claiming benefits in the U.K and the thought's of Chairman Meow.

"Fuck off Barford you're not wanted in Britain"  Oh yes you are!
Ronnie and Reggie!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Hello is there anybody out there,  shout if you can hear me, is there anybody home.


Barford and Swift just two lone figures on a road to nowhere. Insulting all who stand in their way, players in their own soap opera ''The only way is Barford''.


Ed Vaizey took a direct blow as these two clowns demanding his resignation for having the audacity to support us. Many Barford fans will now be chuckling to themselves, after reading their blog. Culture Minister supports detecting.


Will these jokers just fade away or die of natural causes, one way or another they have little left apart from  each other. The only comments they ever receive are from one another.


To get their viewing figures up they need to insult everyone from boy scouts to 10 year olds that have just taken up detecting as a hobby, so nothing is out of bounds for the Barford/Swift roadshow.


In their now empty lives I would like to suggest an alternative hobby to keep them occupied in their old age . Bungee jumping with the rope attached around their necks or crash test dummies. 

Monday, 28 October 2013

Satire, à la Chairman Meow!


Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?

The Things They Say…(including spelling errors)    

Pavel BaЯford:-   (After having been well and truly shafted having been  caught with  his mitts in the Copyright cookie jar)

Authors' Note: Although this post was not included in the original takedown notification where the unknown finder of these apparently unrecorded items lost to public view claimed our use of the photos here was a breach of his copyright, we decided to be on the safe side and remove them- after all we do not want to make Mr Tayler angry do we? The several dozen photos showed a range of typical Anglo-Saxon grave goods, buckles, disc brooches, equal armed brooches, weapons, the lot].

{Photos removed}

*[Authors' Note: This blog is satire and some people quite obviously can take neither criticism or a joke when its not him making spiteful ones about other people. We might indeed wonder just why this person did not want his gallery of recent finds being discussed here, I think we can all have a jolly good guess].

“some people quite obviously can take neither criticism or a joke…,” no, indeed they can’t. Had a look in the mirror lately ComrЯade?


From the BaЯford Blog….UPDATE 24.07.12

 “….Quite why the PAS (and Director of CBA) felt they had to engage in this deceit is beyond me.”

However… the 28/07/2013, it’s all kissy-kissy judging from the tabloid-esque panting headline:

At last! Paul Barford and Mike Heyworth in total agreement!

Heritage Journal: Editor, Nigel ‘Not Very’ Swift.


The King’s New Suit of Clothes?

“….I have never presented myself as an "expert", I write a blog, my blog is about an issue. I write it for myself, it can be read by those who want to read it, or can be ignored by those that do not. I really have no obligation to explain to anyone else any more than that, and nor do I intend to.”

Gosh! We hardly recognise you Pavel,  in your new attire! Been on the road to Damascus per chance? Your candour is admirable, but it was something many us already suspected.


Friday, 25 October 2013

I'm no expert

Here we see an open admission from Barford on Dave Welsh's blog:

In answer to his last "point", I have never presented myself as an "expert", I write a blog, my blog is about an issue. I write it for myself, it can be read by those who want to read it, or can be ignored by those that do not. I really have no obligation to explain to anyone else any more than that, and nor do I intend to. I think there is more than enough about me on the internet already and, seeing the misuses unscrupulous people like the ACCG's Mr Welsh put it to, do not intend multiplying it. I feel absolutely no need to justify myself to the likes of Mr Welsh and Mr Tompa's sock-puppet-Houghton or their guffawing metal detectorist and pot-digging friends. 


Now here is an admission from old gob shite ''I have never presented myself as an ''expert'' , never a truer word spoken.  But wait a minute doesn't the world revolve around Barford and his twisted communist views. Don't we all have to do the right thing, or Mr Barford will bully you until you submit to his way of thinking. He say's ''I really have no obligation to explain to anyone'' but he continually asks us asks us to explain our actions to him.  Also he says ''I feel absolutely no need to justify myself'' That's funny because every page of crap he has ever written, he asks us to justify our actions.


How can you expect anyone to answer you when you openly admit you write your blog for yourself, if this were the case, press the little button that hides it from everyone else apart from you. As we don't want to read this shite day after day. ''Do the right thing Barford delete it''.


Also if you write it for yourself, why do you feel justified to feature other peoples material, which has been  clearly stolen off the internet, images, words etc.


   ''I have never presented myself as an expert'' Now this is a revelation from Barford, no wonder he is so vague about his qualifications he attained in Britain, and maybe that is why gob shite ran off to Poland, which at the time was a Communist country. Who else would employ him in a top job, where the elite would look after one another, drinking vodka to the early hours, providing nice houses and cars, and where the poor, queued for hours for some mouldy old bread.  The Communist party which governed the People's Republic of Poland from 1948 to 1989. Ideologically it was based on the theories of Marxism-Leninism. .


The nomenklatura were a category of people within the Soviet Union and other Eastern Bloc countries who held various key administrative positions in all spheres of those countries' activity: government, industry, archaeology, agriculture, education, etc., whose positions were granted only with approval by the communist party of each country or region.


The communist Polish United Workers' Party dissolved itself on 29 January 1990, and transformed into Social Democracy of the Republic of Poland.  What then happened to all these workers given key roles within the Communist state, they were booted out.


Now when we look at Barford's employment, we see he has done very little since 1990,  apart from a bit of translation of Children's books and car washing.

Keep the red flag flying Paul!






Monday, 21 October 2013

Hey Ho, the bitch is gone!



Jan Wills, County Archaeologist, who has worked for the Service since 1985, is leaving Gloucestershire Archaeology in early September after 28 glorious years with the County Council.


All I can say is I hope she ends up working on the streets, as detectorist's across the Country will raise a glass and rejoice at her departure. On the same scale as Barford,  a complete bitch who had nothing good to say about metal detecting, and was allegedly  behind many of the restrictions we now have in place today, as she was a trustee on the board of the C.B.A.

Even hated by those that worked with her! Maybe Barford could employ her.


Good riddance

This is a copy of her handy work written by one of her staff, just one of the many letters I obtained under The Freedom of Information Act. They then crapped themselves when they heard I was going to sue them for libel: But I can do far more damage to them by publishing the letters, as every detectorist in the Country will see how they stalk us.

The archies several years later put over 100 trenches in this area 10m x 3m looking for this alleged site, and found a 17th Century pipe stem. Which must make it the most expensive pipe stem on record. Ha Ha


This information was fed to them by some jumped up shit who is known by the name of Peter Twitt, not sure about the two 'tt' at the end. Now archaeology is in his hands God help us!


Tim Grubb Archaeologist from Gloucestershire likes to use the name 'GOONER' which say's something about his mentality, when cyber stalking his victims on various detecting forums, although probably now logged on as something else. His particular skill is copying and pasting anything we write, even though these forums are copyright protected.

It does make you wonder who authorised this stalking and how far up the ladder it went, or was it just some young archaeologist who doesn't understand the word libel.. If you write down malicious allegation you better be damned sure you have your facts right, because you will be screwed in court.


Oh, how the mighty are fallen! Good riddance! Another one bites the dust. Always be nice to people on the way up, for you'll meet the same people coming down. They never learn. All those years spent bitching about detectorists amounts to her demise....but detecting moves on!
John H

TAKE A GOOD LOOK at this behaviour, for these are precisely the sort of people the Government wants to employ to oversee archaeology in this country. Libellous accusations and stalking. All of which is completely illegal.  If this is the way the archaeologists want to build trust between detectorist's and the non recording of  finds, then they have a long way to go. Take a good look and decide what you think about that as a "policy".  


Monday, 30 September 2013

                                                          Verbal diarrhea

Are these guys for real, they spend there lives attacking members of the public who's only crime is enjoying a perfect legal hobby of metal detecting or collecting.

Heritage belongs to everyone, not just a select few who studied a degree course and now by some God given right, can desecrate graves in the name of science, removing bodies of our ancestors by packing them into  cardboard boxed to be analized sometime in the future.


 Barford sits in his ivory tower telling us how we should run our lives. He pays absolutely nothing into our tax system and  contributes nothing to our balance of payments.


He was happy to leave our shores for Poland,  but still thinks he has a say in the way we run our Country.

There are over 60 million people in Britain, who really don't give a hoot about our heritage, so you have a lot of work ahead of you to convince the population of the ''Barford master plan'', you would have more of an effect if you farted into a hurricane.


The only people who ever post support on the Barford blog are mentally retarded, and looking at the inane questions they post, have little knowledge on anything.


''When all are blind around you, it's pointless carrying a torch to lead the way. ''


This is what they say on there blog, when the same treatment is serve back to them ''UK metal detectorists (ambassadors for the hobby) really do not know when to stop''.

These are the same guys who post throughout the night, when others are tucked up in bed, what exciting lives they lead, churning out endless crap night after night. What do there families think of it.

Mrs Barford comment:


Well their I was lying in Bed at 2.00 am in the morning, and I awoke to see Paul's shadow by the window, he was making frantic hand movements, up and down with his left hand. I shouted ''Paul are you wanking again'', to which he replied ''No dear, I thought I would just check my laptop for the latest news on Egyptian antiquities , then maybe watch a bit of porn.''  
Another exciting night in the Barford household! 



Extract from the Barford blog


The next stage in the vicious harassment of a grassroots
UK heritage group for expressing its views on the erosion of history by artefact hunting. It seems certain UK metal detectorists (ambassadors for the hobby) really do not know when to stop.

From Heritage Action's Heritage Journal:
Another artefact hunter of similar ilk, a Mr Taylor, (who has been spoken to by the police for openly publishing threats to come to my house and attack me), has taken to impersonating us so if you see any obscene or otherwise objectionable comments in the name of Heritage Action or similar or any of its members, they won’t have come from us.

Frankly while the rest of the detectorists just stay quiet and do not react to this kind of stuff coming from their own ranks (by trying to stop these louts, distancing themselves from it every time it happens, solidarising with the victims, or even just apologising), I think we are justified in holding them all responsible. 

TAKE A GOOD LOOK at this behaviour, for these are precisely the sort of people the PAS wants to grab more and more millions of public quid to make into the "partners" of the British Museum, archaeological heritage professionals and to whom they want us all to entrust the exploitation of the archaeological record. Take a good look and decide what you think about that as a "policy".  

Tip for today, if you want to impersonate one of these moron's on the Barford blog, and have a little fun, just sign yourself into Google Blogger and use one of his friends names for your blog. When you then comment on his blog your name will be heritageaction or whatever name you choose. He will have to check each time with the author, whether it is them or not. To change your name at will, just go into dashboard and switch to another name. This will keep the children happy for hours!

This really will piss him off! ......Have a nice day Paul!

Friday, 27 September 2013

                               Excrement Times

After reading the latest instalment of the Excrement Times aka ''The Barford Blog'' It nice to see Old yellow belly chipping in with his latest comment:

''Nae worries Paul, there's a clear pattern developing. Mr Winter and the US lobby allied themselves with Messrs Stout and Howland and pulled out once they realised. Now the latter are making the same mistake with Mr Taylor.(They should know that Mr Taylor is the one that has been "silenced" after being warned by the police about his threats of violence towards me.)

Let them continue to ally themselves with the worst elements of metal detecting - as a poet said "you can judge a man by the company he keeps". And it's quite appropriate because let's face it, they buy from the worst elements of metal detecting already whether they claim they're unaware or not - which is the whole problem and the source of their dislike of you.

They're making the situation clear for all to see. You can't present yourself as Noel Coward if your best mates are - well, different. 

27 September 2013 01:04''


I would just like to correct that dog turd on a few things, no threat of violence was ever mentions on my web site as all I said was I would drive 40 miles and squash young Nigel's nose.


I had a wonderful talk with West Mercia Police when they rang me one evening, and I told them to check out what I wrote'' There are many people called Nigel in the World, and squashing noses is not a criminal offence in Britain. Spreading one's nose over your face with a swift punch, is something completely different.The word ''Swift'' was never mentioned on my web site.

They agreed that no offence had been committed, and they would take a serious look at the Barford blog. So it kind of back fired. 

As you can see in the paragraph below published by Swift on his blog , with the typical word manipulation that Barford and Swift are past masters at, entering his name in brackets changes the whole context of the sentence. So with him now openly publishing on his blog I made threats to him, has now become libellous and I have now copied it for future use against him.  

“I don’t expect we will hear much from him [Nigel Swift] as he only lives a 40 minute drive away, just a little bit too close for comfort, and I would hate to have to squash his nose!”

This is just another example of some  ''gob shite'' who tries to twist words around to his own advantage.

As to being silenced think again!

You lost all credibility with your local police in Stourport-Upon-Severn when you posted up your so called achievement several days later on your blog, showing how you tried to manipulate the situation to your own advantage. They phoned me to say you were indeed a trouble maker, like I had told them.


Your 3 children must really be proud of there father and all he has achieved.. I suppose they get used to you standing in a pool of your own piss, when ever anyone rings the door bell.


I think Nigel is just after his own false blog, I'll see what I can do mate!

P/S and a message to the Talking arsehole Barford , as to not recording finds, may I suggest you contact a few museums to see how many items I have given or are on long term loan agreements with them. Like everything you print, no research is ever undertaken to show what we contribute, only what we take.